


Would You Live For Me?

by Anarchy_Divine_13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Multi, Suicide, angstagain, happyending, idkhowlongitsgonnabe, itssomethingthativebeenthinkingabout
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-03-23 10:35:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13785690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anarchy_Divine_13/pseuds/Anarchy_Divine_13
Summary: “To whomever may find this,I don’t even know how to begin this.  How do you begin a suicide note?...""Maggie had received a rather disturbing text message from Kara several hours ago.  I want you to find me, the text had read.  At first, she had no clue as to what that could mean and why her of all people?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story focuses heavily on suicide. I don't know where it's going, but there is a happy ending. Trigger warning, there is a suicide note. If you aren't comfortable, please don't read. Thank you. Enjoy.

“This is Detective Maggie Sawyer.  I’m confirming that the body is Kara Danvers, age 24.  She—she uh,” Maggie hesitated and took a deep breath, fighting back the rushing of tears that threatened to fall.  “She hung herself,” she finished taking a big gulp.  “I’ll contact the family,” she said as she clicked her walkie-talkie. 

 

 

 

Maggie had received a rather disturbing text message from Kara several hours ago.  _I want you to find me,_ the text had read.  At first, she had no clue as to what that could mean and why her of all people?

 

  She and Alex had called everything off over children of all things.  Sometimes, Maggie hated herself, but, more than anything because she was afraid of the type of parent she would or could become.  Besides, she hadn’t talk to Kara or Alex in a month.  It was strange to all of the sudden receive the text.  She had pinged Kara’s phone and found that Kara was somewhere on the outskirts of town.  She shot back a quick text, asking her if she was okay.  Fearing the worst, Maggie had immediately made her way to an abandoned building, her gun in her hand.  The building was old in appearance, it was a few stories high.  The outside of it was old and deteriorating.  The inside didn’t fare any better.  At first glance, there was gust and grime everywhere.  She checked the first and second floor, but they were empty.  There were a few pieces of the wall that had holes or cracks in them.  Why would Kara be here?  She slowly ascended up the stairs to the third floor and dropped her arms at the sight.  There was Kara’s body, hanging lifeless.  No, that couldn’t be.  Maggie immediately sprinted over and looked around for anything.  She paled at the sight of Kryptonite on the rope.  She closed her eyes and shook her head.  This couldn’t be happening, not Kara of all people.  Maggie slipped on a glove and checked for Kara’s pulse.  Nothing.  Maggie hung her head.  How did this happen?  She decided that she had to call it in.  

 

 

 

Alex Danvers doesn’t worry, especially not about her sister, Kara Danvers.  However, for the past month, Kara had been distant from everyone, including Lena which was completely foreign to Alex.  They were best friends.  Nothing made sense, the anniversary of Kara’s planet being destroyed had passed, so what else could be bothering her?  She wasn’t sure, but she wanted to get to the bottom of it.  That was why she was walking into Lena’s office at Catco.  “Agent Danvers,” Lena greeted with surprise.  James was there with his arms crossed.  “Hey Alex, what’s up?  Uh, I don’t think Kara’s here,” he said with a knowing smile.  Alex sighed.  “I know, that’s what I’m worried about.  I haven’t heard from her at all today.  I’ve texted, called, done everything,” Alex said with her arms out.  James and Lena perked up at that.  “Nothing at all?” Lena asked.  “Nope,” Alex popped the “p.”  “Well, I mean she could be out on a story and that might just be taking up her time,” James reasoned.  Alex shrugged.  “It’s not like her at all.  She doesn’t do this,” the older Danvers sister said as she sat on the couch, huffing in annoyance.  Lena smiled softly; so what was where Kara got her famous crinkle from.  “Alex,” James said.  “I’m sure Kara is okay,” he spoke gently.  “I know, you’re probably right,” Alex frowned.  “She’s just been so,” Alex struggled for the word.  “ _Off,”_ she said waving her hands around.  Lena leaned against her desk.  “Let me call her,” Lena suggested.  James and Alex nodded in agreement.  Really, Lena had grown on Alex lately.  She was just always there for Kara, no matter what.  Maybe that made her feel better about hanging out with Maggie.  She knew, deep down, Kara had feelings for Lena.  She had suspected it anyways.

 

  Lena pulled out her phone, scrolling to _Kara <3_ and hitting call.  Lena held the phone to her ear.  After a few dials, the phone went to voicemail.  _“Hey, this is Kara!  Sorry I missed your call, please leave a message!”_ the blonde recited with enthusiasm.  Lena smiled at message, but then frowned playfully.  “Kara, your sister is looking for you.  Don’t make her worry, you know how she gets,” Lena joked as she shot a wink to Alex.  Alex rolled her eyes and laughed softly.  Lena hung up her phone and shrugged.  “Maybe she’s asleep,” Lena smiled knowingly and stated with a playful tone.  “That girl does love her sleep,” Alex nodded.  The agent stood up.  “Okay, well thanks, I’m going to head out now,” Alex said as she awkwardly made her way out.  “I’ll walk you out Alex,” Lena followed Alex out to the elevator.  “I’m sure Kara will turn up sooner or later,” Lena said as she turned to face Alex.  Alex laughed softly.  “Yeah, it’s just not like her,” Alex said, looking at the elevator door, staring at it intently.  “What is it?” Lena asked softly.  Alex faced Lena, sagging slightly.  “Between us, she’s been acting weird this entire month.  I thought it was because Magg—“  Alex closed her eyes as she struggled.  “Maggie and I broke up.  I mean, Kara loved Maggie a lot.  It was like having another big sister, but, I mean, I don’t know.  Kara kept cancelling all of out sister nights and all.  I just, I don’t know Lena.  Something could be wrong but I don’t want to worry yet,” Alex said quietly.  Lena frowned, but nodded.  “She cancelled with you too?” Lena asked.  Alex gave her a look.  “She’s been cancelling on me.  I think she’s been avoiding me, but I mean, she’ll text me, but I just…” Lena trailed off.  “Let’s stop by her apartment.  I’ll bring pizza and potstickers,” Lena suggested.  Alex smiled.  “Good idea.  My mom will be here, she wanted to come surprise us, but being an FBI agent and all,” Alex joked and chuckled.  Lena grinned.  “Perfect, I’ll see you in a few hours?”  

 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

 

 

 

Maggie had called J’onn immediately.  She was doing her best to keep it together.  Maggie, what is—“  J’onn cut himself off.  “No.  No,” J’onn rushed over to Kara’s side, checking for a pulse.  “What happened?” he muttered angrily.  Maggie slumped and shrugged.  “I don’t know J’onn.  I didn’t know who else to call,” her voice broke as she began to quietly sob.  She forced herself to stop, wiping away the tears angrily.  “Where did she find Kryptonite?” she asked with a hoarse voice.  “I don’t know.  Can you help me cut her down?” he asked.  The detective nodded and held on to Kara’s limp body as J’onn cut her down.  Maggie fell to the ground with Kara’s body in her arms.  “Kara, hey Kara, I need you to wake up please,” Maggie whispered as she stroked Kara’s hair.  “I need you to wake up and go to your sister Alex.  Uh, Lena, you have to go see Lena too,” Maggie pleaded silently, stuttering along the way.  J’onn watched in reverence.  He looked around and saw a note written nearby.  He walked over and picked it up, glancing it over.  His face paled.  He walked back over to Maggie, holding out the letter.  Maggie looked up at him, then took the letter.  “Oh God,” she murmured.  She read over the letter and her heart sank.  “We have to tell them,” Maggie said immediately after she finished reading.  J’onn nodded.  “Let me take her body.  I’ll go to an old DEO headquarters.  There’s still some medical technology there we can use.  I’ll meet you outside of Kara’s apartment,” he said.  Maggie nodded and handed over Kara’s body to him.  She took the rope down and anything else that could be deemed as evidence.  She took a deep breath.  She could cry on the way over, but then she had to keep it together.  

 

 

 

 

Alex, Eliza and Lena all made their way up to Kara’s door.  Alex knocked, but no one answered.  Alex shot a look to Eliza, then Lena.  She took out her spare key and opened the door, leading them all inside.  Kara’s apartment was beginning to collect dust.  It looked like as if no one had been there for the month.  It was neat, too neat to be Kara.  “None of you have heard from her?” Eliza asked as she looked around the apartment suspiciously.  Both Lena and Alex shook their heads.  Lena set down the food she had gotten and made her way to the couch.  Alex opened the fridge and saw that there was hardly anything in there.  “That’s weird, usually this thing is stocked up,” Alex said as she closed the door with a frown.  Eliza came out of Kara’s bedroom, holding her hands out to her sides.  “Her room is spotless,” Eliza said with concern.  Before they could do anything, there was a knock at the door.  Alex looked over at them, but then made her way to the door.  She opened it without looking.  Her face paled.  “Magg—Maggie,” she said with a gasp.  Maggie smiled sadly.  “Hey Danvers,” she replied.  Alex took in Maggie’s appearance.  Her eyes were blood shot red, she could faintly see where tears had been shed.  “Are you okay?  What’s going on?” Alex asked as she led Maggie in.  “Maggie,” Eliza smiled wide and hugged her tightly.  Maggie hugged back, then pulled away.  “I’m here on official Police business,” Maggie nodded as she looked around the room.  Her face became whiter as she took in the state of Kara’s apartment.  She closed her eyes.  “It’s about Kara,” she said quietly.  “What happened?” Alex asked urgently.  Eliza and Lena were sat on the couch, next to each other.  “You should sit down Alex,” Maggie spoke quietly.  Alex did as she was told and sat next to Lena.  Just then, J’onn walked in, nodding to Maggie.  “I uh, received a text from Kara a few hours ago,” Maggie began.  She started to pace slowly.  “She said she wanted me to be the one to find her,” she recited.  “I located her through her phone to an abandoned building and,” Maggie hesitated.  “I’m sorry,” Maggie said with a shrug.  “This was next to her,” Maggie held a letter up.  Alex shook her head slowly.  “What do you mean?” Alex asked.   “I think you should hear this,” Maggie said as she opened the letter up.  She began to read it out loud.  

 

 

 

“ _To whomever may find this,_

_I don’t even know how to begin this.  How do you begin a suicide note?  I have no idea.  I guess you want to know why.  I couldn’t do this anymore.  I’m a liar.  First and foremost.  Lena, I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long about the real me.  I’m Supergirl.  I should’ve told you from the beginning, but I’m a coward.  I’m just like your family, lying and deceiving you.  Lillian was right; you would hate me because I had been lying to you for so long.  I can hear Lillian taunting me, telling me that I would always be alone because I’ve kept myself from you, it’s true.  It was a guilt that I didn’t know how to live with anymore.  For that, I am sorry, but I don’t seek your forgiveness.  I don’t deserve any of it.  With that being said, now that that is in the open, I have what’s called ‘survivor’s guilt’ on this planet.  At first, I thought that was a strange concept until I really began to think about it.  I am the last true Kryptonian; Kal-El was raised from a baby to an adult on this planet.  I at least had some experience and knowledge on Krypton before it was destroyed.  The guilt of surviving, of living and knowing that you are the last, it’s become too much.  Sometimes, when I’m alone in my bed and I close my eyes, I see my pod and I see my planet dying in front of me.  I can hear the screams of the billions of people on my planet.  I witness the destruction and annihilation of everything I have ever known.  I can feel the fire purging my planet.  Do you know what that feels like?  Can you even begin to understand?  I don’t think anyone will ever be able to get that.  I would never want anyone to comprehend that.  Being Supergirl has been great, I’ve been able to use my powers and help people.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do is help people.  It filled the void within my heart.  I thought that maybe somehow my people could look down upon me from Rao’s light and be proud that I am honoring them.  That’s why I wear the symbol; it’s my family’s crest, it’s hope.  Supergirl will be a symbol, but I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be her and continue to lie, to pretend I’m okay._

_I thought I could handle it until I realized that I wanted a family of my own.  That was my own downfall, my own thoughts.  My own dreams.  I wanted my own flesh and blood, but that would never be possible.  I could never find the right person to share that with, at least not without the technology that was available on Krypton.  There was a way to conceive without pregnancy because on Krypton, sexuality wasn’t a thing.  It didn’t matter whom you loved and I loved that idea.  I wish now that I could have the family I so desperately wanted.  Mon-El was a Daxamite and I never really loved him anyways.  I was stupid for even entertaining the idea of being with him, let alone being with him.  That’s another huge regret.  On top of all of this, I’m just so fucking angry.  I mean it.  I’m so mad.  At everything, my life, my choices, all of it.  Alex, Eliza, I feel so guilty and angry about Jeremiah.  It’s my fault; if I hadn’t taken Alex flying, then he would still be here with us.  Maybe I would still be here, we’ll never know now, will we?  Another fault of this seemingly ‘perfect Kryptonian.’  Rao, I have so much to say but I don’t know how else to say it.  I’m going to miss all of you, I truly will.  But, you will be able to move on, I’ve seen it before, you are stronger together.  You’re all strong people, you pushed me this far and I will never be able to thank you for that._

_Lastly, this one is pretty huge.  I fell so hard for you Lena Luthor, I mean I just did.  It came out of nowhere.  The first time I met you and I just, I was gone.  You were my beginning and my end.  I can fly, but I couldn’t keep myself grounded because, you,  Lena Luthor are just so perfect.  So good.  Don’t ever forget that okay?  Even though I’m gone, I still believe you are so good.  So please, Alex, Maggie, Eliza, everyone, anyone, support her and just love her.  Give her the family she never had.  Lena, I love you so much.  I always have and I always will.  But, I never deserved your love because I kept lying to you.  I found myself completely and utterly captivated by you and I will always love you forever.  You were my soulmate and I’m sorry I never told you how I felt.  Rao, I love you Lena.  I wished I’d have said something, anything.  Eliza, you’re the mother I always wanted, always needed.  Thank you for raising me and for never giving up on me, making me the woman I was.  Alex, you are the greatest sister ever, I mean ever.  I really mean it.  I love you both so dearly.  Maggie, I love you too, you’ve become a sister to me as well, no matter what’s happened.  Lena, my love, my everything, I love you too.  Well, this is it.  I’m sending Maggie a text now.  I want her to find my body.  I love you all so much._

 

_Kara Zor-El Danvers_

 

There was not a dry eye in the room, even J’onn was in tears.  Maggie was sobbing quietly, hanging her head.  She held the note in her hand tightly.  She look up; Alex was in complete shock.  Eliza was calling out to Alex, trying to get her attention.  Lena stood up abruptly.  Everyone stared at her.  She just shook her head.  “Where is she Maggie?” she demanded.  “Where’s Kara?” she pleaded, gentler this time.  Maggie shrugged and shook her head.  “Gone,” she replied softly.  Lena shook her head violently.  “No, she’s not gone.  She wouldn’t leave—, she wouldn’t go.  She loved me,” Lena whispered brokenly and her body began to shake.  The sobs that escaped her throat were unbearable.  Maggie was immediately by her side, enveloping her in a tight hug.  Lena struggled against Maggie, begging for this to be a nightmare.  Alex got up and hugged Lena from behind, clutching onto Maggie and Lena.  J’onn moved over to Eliza and held her as she cried quietly.  Lena was mumbling words that couldn’t be understood by either of the two.  Alex gripped Maggie’s hand.  Maggie squeezed and shot her a sad smile.  Alex sent a soft wet laugh and nodded.  They both held Lena tightly.  

 

 

 

A couple hours went by.  J’onn and Eliza had left, leaving Alex, Maggie and Lena in Kara’s apartment.  Lena was curled up in Kara’s bed, Alex and Maggie on either side of her.  Maggie was lost in thought.  Alex was certainly taking this in stride, Lena was the one completely losing her mind.  However, Maggie knew how it felt.  After all, she did let Alex go, so she understood that part very well.  Maggie and Lena had been talking about her mustering up the courage to finally ask Kara out.  Now, it seemed like that chance wouldn’t come.  Maggie sat back and watched Alex play the big sister role to Lena, but she knew Alex was dying inside as well.  Maggie’s phone went off.  “This is Detective Sawyer,” she said into the phone, standing up.   A voice spoke and Maggie shook her head, sighing.  “No, that’s not—.”  The voice cut her off immediately.  “It’s _my_ case!” she yelled angrily.  “Kara Danvers was a sister to me!  I don’t care what Cat Grant says, it’s _my_ case.  She messaged me last and I’ll be damned if I’m handing this case over to a different detective because ‘Cat Grant asked you too.’  With all due respect sir, that’s bullshit,” she snapped into the phone and hung up, tossing her phone onto the nightstand bitterly.  She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.  “Maggie,” Alex said as she got up and walked over to her.  Maggie shook her head and closed her eyes, hanging her head slowly.  “I’m fine.  Cat Grant wants someone she knows and trusts on Kara’s ‘case,’ which is stupid.  She thinks it was a set up,” Maggie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and huffing.  “I was the one on the scene.  There was Kryptonite okay?  I saw— I saw everything.  I know,” she murmured, shaking her head angrily as she continued to speak to herself.  

 

Alex was smiling sadly at her, looking at her with adoration.  Lena’s eyes watched Alex.  Lena knew the love that Alex held for Maggie, it was the exact love she held for Kara.  She knew that look all too well; it was the same look she always found herself giving Kara Danvers.  Maggie looked up at her, Alex looked away blushing.  “What?” Maggie chuckled, wiping away her tears.  Alex shrugged and sat back down next to Lena.  She sighed as a fresh set of tears rolled down her cheeks.  “You called Kara your sister,” Alex whispered.  Lena looked up at Maggie.  Maggie couldn’t hold it in anymore.  She nodded at Alex as the sobs broke out.  Maggie fell to her knees and whimpered, falling before Alex.  “I’m sorry Alex,” she whispered fiercely.  “I should’ve been quicker, I…” she trailed off.  Neither Alex nor Lena could discern what Maggie was saying.  They both held onto Maggie tightly, keeping her close.  Maggie sobbed quietly the rest of the night.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maggie was the first to wake up.  Her limbs felt heavy, almost as if…  She opened her eyes.  She was breathless because she was being cuddled by the CEO of L-Corp and the scariest DEO agent.  That was certainly a sight to see.  Her surroundings were unfamiliar, where exactly were they at?  Last night came rushing back; Kara’s apartment.  Right.  Kara was dead.  Suicide.  

 

The Detective sighed and slowly got up out of the bed, untangling her limbs from Lena’s and Alex’s.  She slipped her boots back on and made her way out to the kitchen.  She stopped and looked around the room.  There were pictures of Kara and everyone important in her life, all around them.  Maggie made her way over to one picture in particular: Alex and Maggie were arm and arm along with Lena and Kara.  They had gone out to dinner, per Lena’s request.  They were celebrating one of Kara’s articles on Lena, of course.  They were smiling big and bright for the picture; it was a great night.  It was adorable really; those two were clueless gays sometimes.  Maggie frowned and set the picture down, shaking her head.  She needed to get back to the crime scene before anyone else did.  For all she knew now, it could be too late.  She was slipping on her jacket when she heard slight shuffling behind her.  She turned around and saw a very sleepily, yet adorable Alex Danvers leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed.  

 

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Maggie teased.  Alex’s face began to redden, but she shrugged and sent a half smile back.  “Good morning to you, early bird,” Alex replied in a joking tone.  Maggie grinned, her dimples in full force, before she ducked her head.  “Leaving so soon?” Alex asked hesitantly.  Maggie looked up at her.  Their eyes locked and Maggie had the overwhelming urge to kiss the life out of Alex Danvers.  It seemed Alex had the same thing in mind because next thing she knew, Alex’s lips were on hers.  Maggie wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and pulled her closer to her own body.  Alex’s arms were around her neck.  Their tongues were complimenting each other, moving in sync, finding a beautiful rhythm that matched the love they had for each other.  After a few minutes, they pulled apart, catching their breath together.  “God, I have missed that,” Alex said quietly.  Maggie chuckled and pecked her lips.  “I’ve missed you,” Maggie admitted gently.  Alex nodded and rested her forehead against Maggie’s.  “Alex, I want to stay.  I want to talk, but I—“ 

 

“Go Mags.  We can talk later,” Alex pressed her lips against Maggie’s one more time, before pulling back.  Maggie nodded.  She stroked Alex’s cheek before heading out, closing the door quietly behind her. 

 

 

 

 

Alex walked back into Kara’s room, quietly.  She could hear the sniffles coming from the bed.  Lena had cocooned herself in Kara’s covers.  Alex noted Lena’s clothes on the floor, which she thought was strange.  She hadn’t slept with Lena nude had see?  Was Lena too warm with Maggie and her?  She sighed.  “Lena?” she called out quietly.  Immediately, she watched as Lena tried to get out of the covers, falling out of the bed.  She was wearing Kara’s sweatpants and sweatshirt.  She started to cry loudly.  Alex would have laughed at the scene if the circumstances weren’t so bad because Lena Luthor looked so pitiful on the floor in Kara’s bedroom.  For a moment, Alex could imagine Kara being called away on a Supergirl emergency and Lena was grumpy that she had to wake up alone.  It was something bittersweet; honestly, Alex would have loved to watched Lena and Kara grow together, but now wasn’t the time to think about that.  She made her way over to Lena and sat down beside her.  Lena immediately wrapped herself around Alex, sobbing.  Alex stroked her hair and kept her close.  “Shh, I’m here Lena,” Alex whispered into her hair.  She kissed the top of the CEO’s head.  Lena cried for another hour before she finally calmed down, resorting to sniffles.  She was heaving heavily, trying to catch her breath.  Alex had finally gotten her attention and they began to breathe together in harmony.  It was silent after that.

 

 

“Kara used to cry a lot when she first arrived.  I didn’t quite understand it.  Sometimes, I still don’t,” Alex murmured as she explained.  “I taught her these breathing exercises.  I helped her understand that it was okay to cry, to be sad, angry, whatever she felt, it was valid.  Her feelings are valid.  She was so valid, so perfect,” Alex mused.  She felt Lena shiver slightly against her body violently.  “How could I let, let this happen Al—Alex?” Lena sniffled as she struggled to speak clearly.  Alex took a deep breath and loosened her grip slightly.  She tilted Lena’s head up to meet hers, staring deeply into her eyes.  Kara was right; her eyes were like Kryptonite.  They were a deep shade of dark green, but beautiful to gaze into.  She was beginning to understand why Kara would lose herself when she was around Lena.  Alex chuckled.  “What’s so funny Alex?” Lena asked as she sat up and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.  Alex pulled her in for a tight hug.  “Kara always said your eyes reminded her of Kryptonite because you always made her weak in the knees.  I used to tease her all the time,” Alex whispered into her ear as she held her close.  She and Lena shared a laugh before Lena started to cry again.  “Don’t think I’m leaving you alone Luthor,” Alex said.  Lena nodded fiercely.  Alex got up and grabbed one of Kara’s photo albums.  “Want to look at these with me?” Alex asked.  Lena nodded and wiped her face.  They spent the rest of their day look through Kara’s photo album.  It was peaceful in a chaotic time. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maggie Sawyer was at a loss.  She was back at the scene of where Kara had done the unimaginable.  She shook her head, her hands on her hips.  None of this made sense, none of it.  Her gut instincts were telling her that there was something wrong, something wasn’t right.  “What am I missing?” Maggie whispered softly to herself.  She pulled out her phone, dialing and placed the phone against her ear.  “J’onn,” she greeted.  “I need to see Kara’s body,” she said quickly.  She received approval and hung up.  She took a deep breath.  There was something going on and she was determined to find out.  Whatever the cost.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally. I got something for ya, so see if you like it.

There is numbness that comes with the knowledge of the death of a loved one.  Someone that was so important in your life, the grief is almost unbearable.  It’s like all of the sudden becoming numb to anything and everything.  Every day life becomes a burden to bear because of the absence of a person whom you loved with all of your heart.  That’s how Lena Luthor felt at this particular moment.  Her life felt meaningless, is this how she had felt before?  A few days had gone by since Kara’s suicide, _her suicide,_ and Lena had kept herself locked in her office.  She had gone ho- no, not home, to her penthouse and gotten clothes, her toothbrush and whatever other necessities she needed and made a place of residence at L-Corp.  She had been answering emails as usual when Jess called.  “Yes, Jess?” Lena asked as she continued to write out a reply to a potential investor.  “Miss Luthor, there is an Agent Danvers here,” Jess sighed softly and whispered into the phone.  “She doesn’t have an appointment, I can—“

 

“Let her in Jess, thank you,” Lena said as she hung up.  She continued to write her email as Jess entered with Alex right behind her.  “Thank you Jess,” Lena looked up at her and nodded.  Jess sent her a sad smile and exited the room, closing the door behind her.  “Agent Danvers,” Lena said smoothly.  “You’ve been ignoring my calls,” Alex cut right to the chase.  Lena set down her tablet and looked up at her, making sure she was aware of the stoic CEO look she was portraying.  “I’m a CEO Alex, surely you understand that,” Lena raised an eyebrow towards the older Danvers woman.  That seemed to strike a chord within Alex.  “Wow, yet Kara seemed to waltz in whenever she wanted,” Alex bit out harshly.  That was a low blow and Alex knew it.  But, it did the trick because Lena’s face immediately faltered.  The CEO looked away, attempting to compose herself.  “How dare you,” Lena snapped right back.  “I loved her too you know and I—“

 

“You have a strange way of showing your love for her,” Alex cut her off as she raised a hand.  “You lost the love of your life and I love my sister,” Alex gestured between the two of them.  “I can’t do this funeral alone,” Alex whispered as she took a step closer.  “I can’t face Eliza alone, God I don’t even want to think about that,” Alex trailed off gently.  Lena sat back in her chair, struggling to find the words.  She could relate to not wanting to face mothers, after all, she had the devil for a mother.  “I can’t do it,” Lena said.  “Can’t or won’t Lena?”

 

“I can’t say goodbye.”

 

The room was eerily silent.  Alex sighed heavily.  “Her funeral is this Saturday in Midvale.  I hope you come, it’s what Kara would have wanted,” Alex said as she turned and left the room before Lena could answer.  

 

Lena skipped breakfast, lunch and contemplated on skipping dinner as well.  She was in no mood to eat and her conversation with Alex was to blame for that.  Who was she kidding?  Kara wasn’t here to tempt her with potstickers or some other unhealthy form of food.  Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and slammed her tablet on her desk.  She rested her fingers on her temples, feeling the frustration begin to overwhelm her.  After all, she didn’t want to be alone herself but, she couldn’t help it.  She was a Luthor after all.  She decided to humor herself.  She grabbed her phone and shot Alex a text, asking her to meet up for dinner.  Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Danvers, but sadly realized it was Alex.  Not to say that she didn’t appreciate Alex, but, she was craving Kara’s sunshine exterior.  She had to apologize, it wasn’t fair for either her or Alex to suffer alone.  They needed each other, it’s what Kara would’ve wanted indeed. 

 

 

 

Maggie took a deep breath.  She was nervous as anything.  She was going to see her fiancee’s—(wait, ex-fiancee’s?)  sister’s body.  She wasn’t ready and she knew it.  But then again, she had been able to handle finding Kara’s body, or so she thinks.  She shakes her mind of these thoughts and makes her way inside the DEO.  Kara’s body had been moved there, but locked in a room that no one was allowed access to unless J’onn or Alex said specifically.  “Hey J’onn,” Maggie greeted with a solemn nod.  J’onn sent his own nod back.  “Detective, right this way,” he said as he walked up to the door, setting his hand against the panel.  The door open and they both walked in.  Maggie gulped nervously, taking in the sight of Kara Danvers’ body lying on her cold deathbed.  Maggie walked up to the table, glancing over her body.  At first glance, nothing was out of the ordinary.  “Who’s all seen her?” Maggie asked.  “Just Eliza,” J’onn said.  Maggie nodded.  “I can take it from here,” she said pointedly.  J’onn nodded and exited the room, leaving Maggie alone.  She ran a hand through her hair and blew air out of her mouth.  “Right,” she murmured as she began to examine Kara’s body thoroughly.  She slipped on gloves and began to look at her skin closely, especially in the neck region.  Sure enough, there were marks from where she had been hanging.  There was a slight green residue, probably from the Kryptonite.  Maggie touched the alien’s neck and frowned.  The texture felt off.  It didn’t feel, well, was human the word?  Maggie furrowed her eyebrows and looked closer.  She had an idea, but it wasn’t great.  She had to know.  Maggie reached over blindly, grabbing a scalpel and began to cut into Kara’s skin.  “Huh, easy to cut,” she observed out loud.  However, there was Kryptonite residue still present, but it still didn’t make sense.  Her body would have been able to rid itself of the Kryptonite by now, wouldn’t it?  She stopped before she could cut deeper.  She sighed, hanging her head.  “I know I’m no medical examiner, but no one else is in the right state of mind to do this.  So, I apologize,” Maggie said to the corpse as she cut open Kara’s neck.  Her eyes went wide in shock.  Now, Maggie didn’t know how Kryptonians were different from humans, but the dark blue ooze that began to pour out of Kara’s neck brought Maggie’s hands to a halt.  The blue ooze began to hiss and Maggie dropped her knife as it began to _melt_.  “Shit,” Maggie cursed as she ripped her gloves off.  “Damn it,” Maggie said as she walked out of the room and called out for J’onn.  

 

 

 

 

To say Lena was anxious was an understatement.  Here she was, having dinner with Kar— Alex Danvers.  Agent Alex Danvers.  Lena took a large gulp of her red wine and sat back against her chair.  The restaurant was decent, nothing too fancy.  The waitress stopped by, dropping off two appetizer plates.  It was only right to have potstickers.  “Hey,” Alex said.  “Hey,” Lena shot her a small smile.  “Thanks for coming Alex,” Lena said as Alex sat across from her.  “Thanks for inviting me,” Alex forced a smile.  Lena sighed softly.  “Look, Alex, about today—“

 

“Don’t worry about it Luthor.  I shouldn’t have pushed you,” Alex said softly.  Normally, her last name would have sent her into a silent retreat, but she found it endearing when Alex called her by her last name.  Both women sat in silence as the waitress dropped off two orders of potstickers.  Alex laughed softly, shaking her head.  “Kara loved these damn things,” Alex said as she picked one up and plucked it into her mouth.  “Yes, now I understand why she ordered so many.  It all makes sense,” Lena teased as she took one and ate it.  The waitress came by, asking them about their food, taking their orders as well as Alex’s drink order.  Alex then sat back and observed Lena.  Lena tried not to shy under Alex’s penetrating gaze, but she found that extremely difficult.  “Whatever you want to ask, just ask,” Lena finally said.  Before Alex could speak, the waitress brought back her drink.  She took a sip and sat forward, placing her elbows on the table.  “What’s your favorite memory of Kara?” she finally asked.  Well, that certainly was not what Lena was expecting.  “I’m sorry?” Lena asked incredulously.  “What’s your favorite memory of my baby sister?” Alex asked again.  Lena gulped and reached for her wine.  What _was_ her favorite memory?  She wouldn’t even know where to begin.  “I don’t have one,” Lena blurted out.  Alex’s face went from neutral to angry to confusion.  The CEO had to think of something quick.  “I mean—there, I, I—, there are too many.  Every second I spent with her was my favorite,” Lena whispered brokenly, finishing off her wine.  She wouldn’t cry, not her, especially not with Alex.  Alex’s body relaxed.  Lena’s followed suit.  “When she first came to Earth, I didn’t like her,” Alex began.  Lena perked up at this.  The Danvers sisters were a force to be reckoned with and Kara held Alex up high on a pedestal.  “Really?” Lena asked.  “Yep,” Alex popped the “p.”  “I was cruel to her.  She already had it rough.  I didn’t really understand the whole ‘losing your world’ thing.  But, man she was just so curious,” Alex laughed.  “She didn’t know what birds were,  I mean, what planet doesn’t have birds?” Alex whispered playfully.  Lena found herself leaning in, completely drawn to Alex.  “Anyways, high school was tough for her.  She got bullied a lot and she didn’t quite understand why, you know?  I mean, alien kid, getting picked on?” Alex whispered the last part.  “Something tragic happened at school.  A kid died and that’s what brought Kara and I together.  I regret not being closer to her sooner.  I could’ve made her life much easier, or as easy as it could’ve been.  But,” Alex sat back and sighed, finishing her drink.  “I’ve made lots of mistakes recently.  I lost Maggie and now I lost,” Alex choked on a sob quietly, taking a deep breath, not allowing her facade to fall.  It was then that Lena realized just how much Alex could be hurting.  She could understand, the guilt, the shame, blaming yourself for not paying closer attention, wait, that last part was specifically for her.  Some best friend she was.  “Anyways,” she shook her head.  “I guess I understand by not having just one favorite memory as well,” Alex nodded towards Lena.  The rest of the evening, they ate together and talked about Kara.  

 

 

 

“Detective Sawyer, this is huge.  I can’t just say that,” J’onn snapped.  Maggie held her hands out, nodding.  “I know, but I mean, Kryptonians don’t have skin that _melts,_ ” Maggie said through gritted teeth.  “All I’m asking is for you to listen to me,” Maggie pleaded.  “Her skin is flawless, there was nothing to see,” J’onn sighed.  Maggie’s eyebrows rose.  “What?  No, I cut the skin myself J’onn—“

 

“I think this is taking a toll on you as well Maggie.”

 

 

Maggie snapped her mouth shut.  “Fine,” Maggie snapped as she left the DEO building.  She had to go meet up with Alex anyways.  Whether she would tell Alex or not, that was a whole other story.   

 

Maggie pulled up to their-Alex’s apartment.  She took a deep breath.  She hadn’t been here since the breakup.  She got out of her car and made her way up.  She knocked on the door.  She was greeted by Alex, her eyes were red and puffy.  “Hey,” Maggie spoke softly.  “Hey,” Alex replied just as soft.  Alex allowed Maggie inside.  Maggie looked around the apartment.  A lot of their things were still around the apartment, not much had been moved.  Maggie turned around and faced Alex.  Alex looked at her, broken and sad.  Maggie decided to keep the information to herself for now, and she took Alex in her arms and held her close.  Alex broke down and began to sob into Maggie’s arms, letting it all out.  “I’m right here love, it’s okay,” Maggie whispered into her hair, placing a gentle kiss there.  Alex whimpered and clutched onto Maggie’s leather jacket.  “I miss her so much Maggie.  I should’ve been there,” Alex whispered softly.  “Babe,” Maggie said softly, running her fingers through Alex’s hair.  Maggie picked Alex up and moved them over to the couch.  Alex fell in Maggie’s lap, wrapping herself up all in Maggie.  “Don’t leave,” Alex pleaded.  Maggie couldn’t if she wanted to.  She loves Alex way too much for that and she was determined to prove it.  Maggie wanted to fix it all, no matter what.  

 

 

 

 

Lena was happy that things between her and Alex were better after dinner.  She was still very upset, but she had thrown herself in her work nonetheless.  Kara’s funeral was in a couple of days and Lena had yet to determine if she was going or not.  Part of her wanted to so she could honor the fallen hero, she couldn’t even begin to imagine what Kara was feeling.  She hated herself even more because she wasn’t there for Kara, regardless of her alter ego or not.  She should’ve been a better friend and she sure as hell should’ve admitted her feelings for the blonde woman.  Now, it seems Lena would never have the chance to admit just how much she loved and craved Kara.  Lena tossed her tablet on her desk and pinched the bridge of her nose.  There was no getting work done now, no matter how much she needed to.  Instead, she stood up and made her way out to Jess.  “Jess, please cancel the rest of my week.  Actually, I don’t know when I’ll be back, so just, can you please handle it?” Lena asked.  “Of course Miss Luthor.  Take your time,” Jess smiled up at her, nodding in understanding.  “You’re a lifesaver Jess.  I’m giving you a raise and another bonus.  You can’t say no,” Lena shot her a wink and walked back into her office, gathering her tablet and the rest of her paperwork.  At least, on the way to Midvale, she could get something done.  

 

Lena was packing her bags, she didn’t know how long she planned to stay in Midvale, but she expected to be there for sometime, if she was welcome that is.  Well, the worst the could happen is that she would be asked to leave, but Alex did want her to come to the funeral.  Maybe, maybe Kara thought that Lena was important too, but then why leave?  There were so many questions and Lena already felt a headache coming on.  She had called her driver and made her way over to Alex’s apartment.  She wasn’t sure of what to do now, but she did know that she didn’t want to be alone anymore.  She thanked her driver, grabbing her own bags, all four of them and making her way to Alex’s door.  She knocked a couple times, trying to keep her bags balanced.  She was surprised when Maggie answered the door, holding a finger to her mouth.  “Alex is asleep, come on in.  Here, let me help with that,” Maggie whispered as she took two of Lena’s bags and helped her inside.  Lena thanked her and set down her bags near the door, slipping off her shoes.  “Glad you could make it, Alex shouldn’t be alone tonight,” Maggie smiled sadly at her.  Alex was curled up on the couch, a blanket covering her.  “You’re leaving?” Lena asked her.  “Uh, yeah, it’s better if I’m not here,” Maggie shrugged as she slipped on her jacket and then her shoes.  Lena frowned.  “Please don’t go,” Lena whispered pleadingly.  Maggie looked up at her and took pity on the girl.  “Lena—“

 

“Maggie, please.  I’m barely keeping it together and I can only imagine how Alex is doing.  I mean, we should’ve been there Maggie, I just,” Lena shook her head and covered her face with her hands, sniffling softly.  Maggie pulled her into a hug.  “I got you,” Maggie said quietly.  

 

 

 

Maggie had picked up Alex and laid her down in bed.  “Okay,” Maggie started as she walked back out to the couch.  “Time for bed, long drive tomorrow, off you go,” Maggie shooed her towards the bedroom.  Lena frowned.  “Will Alex kill me?” Lena joked.  “Hmm, we’ll find out,” Maggie shot her a wink.  Lena laughed and shook her head.  “Good night Maggie.”  

 

“Good night Lena.” 

 

 

Alex shot up in her bed, sweating and breathing heavily.  She could feel her heart beating, it was so fast and so strong.  She swung her legs over her bed and cradled her head in her hands.  She sniffled softly, trying to hold it all in.  “Alex?” she heard a voice call.  Alex jumped up.  “Shit,” she called out.  She heard a thump come from the other side of the bed.  “Who’s there?” Alex called out.  She turned on her lamp and laughed once she saw a grumpy and tired looking Lena Luthor stand up, blowing her hair out of her face.  “Lena,” the brunette rolled her eyes.  “Remember I said I was coming?  I texted you and you said it was fine,” Lena said.  Alex shook her head.  “I don’t remember answering you,” Alex spoke slowly.  Lena gulped.  “Oh, well maybe I texted—“

 

“It was me,” Maggie was leaning against the doorway.  “I figured you two could use each other and when I can’t be here for either of you, you got each other.  Kara would’ve wanted that you know.  She always talked about how she was going to get ‘Alex and Lena to be the bestest of friends, besides Lena and I of course,’” Maggie said as she did her best to imitate Kara.  Alex and Lena shared a laugh.  “That sounds like her,” Lena smiled softly.  Maggie chuckled.  “Yeah, she was something,” Maggie replied.  “I miss her,” Alex said after a moment.  “Don’t we all?”

 


End file.
